Bullying Policies - Changing the Motivation To Do The Right Thing

“Children need to be noticed not rewarded” is one of my firmly held beliefs, and it ties into my passion for community building in classrooms. On the flip side, I don’t like band-aid approaches to solving problems. That is when policies or rules are set in place because a few people/groups/etc. are not doing the right thing. If you’ve read any of my blog posts, you know that I am also passionate about teaching children about bullying, but I worry that the new Harassment, Bullying, and Intimidation policy will not only be ineffective but may also be damaging to the good things that schools are doing now. The process to investigate and follow through on reports of bullying is tedious and time consuming.

Through my Twitter PLN, I was recently introduced to the book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink. According to Pink, “The most motivated people – not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied – hitch their desires to a cause larger than themselves” (121). I like to think that teachers are drawn to the profession because they want to help children grow intellectually, socially, and emotionally. The new bullying policy seems to be working against the purpose of teachers. I’ll explain this idea through Pink’s quote by Max Bazerman, a Harvard Business School professor:

               Say you take people who are motivated to behave nicely, then give them a fairly weak set of ethical standards to meet. Now, instead of asking them to “do it because it’s the right thing to do,” you’ve essentially given them an alternative set of standards – do this so you can check off all these boxes.

               Imagine an organization, for example, that believes in affirmative action – one that wants to make the world a better place by creating a more diverse workforce. By reducing ethics to a checklist, suddenly affirmative action is just a bunch of requirements that the organization must meet to show that it isn’t discriminating.

               Now the organization isn’t focused on affirmatively pursuing diversity but rather on making sure that all the boxes are checked off to show that what it did is OK (and so it won’t get sued). Before, its workers had an intrinsic motivation to do the right thing, but now they have an extrinsic motivation to make sure that the company doesn’t get sued or fine” (139).

I hope that teachers and schools continue to do the right thing in regards to bullying and teaching children to be compassionate citizens even if it is reduced to a checklist. And if the new policy helps to motivate some schools to do the right thing I won’t be upset. After all, the true purpose of education is helping students to be the best that they can be intellectually, socially, and emotionally.

Name Calling Will Not Be Tolerated

I'm a big fan of Lester Laminack. Recently, I listened to his podcast at Choice Literacy on bullying http://www.choiceliteracy.com/public/1532.cfm. I was not familiar with the first book he mentioned, Dog Eared by Amanda Harvey, so of course, I ordered it. I'm glad that I did because it will be a wonderful addition to my classroom library.

The book begins with a happy and confident looking dog walking home. A bigger dog walks by and calls him a mean name, "Big Ears".  That comment causes self-doubt to creep in as the dog begins to worry that his ears really are too big. He becomes so distraught that he can't eat or play. He tries to fix his ears by doing some creative ear styling (think of a dog bouffant). He gives up and goes to sleep but is haunted by nightmares. In the middle of the night, one of his owner's children snuggles next to him and tells him how much she loves his ears. This restores his confidence, and the next day when the mean dog calls him another name, he brushes it off and continues on his way.

I can't wait to read this aloud to my class because of the rich discussions I can imagine. (Who hasn't been called a mean name before?) But as always, the implications are also rich for my reflections aa teacher.

• In the book, the dog's owner tells him how wonderful his ears are.
• What about those children who don't have someone to tell them how wonderful they are? How can I help them?

• The dog is called "Big Ears" by the mean dog. As an adult, that doesn't seem like a terribly mean comment; after all, the dog does have big ears.
• Have I ever minimized name calling because it seemed silly? It's the perception of the victim of the name calling that is important.

Dog Eared shows the negative power that name calling can have. As teachers and parents, we cannot tolerate any type of name calling. The damage done by it is too great.

Can Empathy Be Taught?

I don't believe that empathy can be taught. I can't make you feel a certain way. As a parent, how many times have I tried to tell my children that they should be proud of themselves or that they should feel sorry for something they've done? Too many times to count and the results weren't usually what I hoped for them to be. It took me a long time to learn this. What can teachers and parents do to help children develop a sense of empathy if it's not possible to teach it? Exposing children to experiences that are different from their usual reality is a first step. By exposing them to literature that has characters, themes, or settings that are new to them helps children to imagine what it would be like to live in the book. Note that I wrote "imagine". We can expose children to situations, but we cannot teach them how to feel. Discussions will develop as students ponder the differences. Literature can also be used to put students into situations that they've experienced but have been uncomfortable speaking about. This is important as we teach students to recognize and begin to look for solutions to bullying, teasing, and put-downs. As NJ begins implementing its new Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying (HIB) policy, I worry that schools will focus on teaching emapthy and respect in an attempt to cover themselves legally, yet teaching is not the answer. The answer lies in building a classroom and school community where children feel loved and important. This cannot be taught. This has to be felt. As we begin the new school year, let's remember to find the good in all children. Let them know that you care about them and that each one is important. And provide them with new experiences through literature.

The Time to Teach Is Now

When I look for books to share with my students, I want to feel passionate about them and feel a connection with the text. The Fat Boy Chronicles by Diane Lang and Michael Buchanan fits this criteria for me. Many of us can think back to our youth and recall the student who was the target of jokes and teasing. In The Fat Boy Chronicles this is Jimmy, an overweight ninth grader, who writes about his freshman year in high school through a series of journal entries. I like this book not only because of the many discussions about bullying, empathy, and courage that I can image my students sharing, but also because it makes me look at my role as a teacher and think about what it means to put students first. These are a few of the most powerful points in the book for me.

• After being teased by one of the jocks in his PE class, the PE teacher looks at the boy who teased Jimmy, but he doesn't say anything to him. (p. 18)
• What do our actions as teachers say to our students?

• "Not all the kids bother me but those who don't just stand around and watch." (p. 90)
• Bystander behavior is an important part of the bullying equation. Have I taught my students their options/responsibilities if they witness another student being teased, put-down, or bullied?

• "I do okay, but it's hard when no one ever asks you to do anything. It's like I don't exist as a real kid who's interested in things." (p. 102)
• Do I notice and build relationships with each student?

• After yet another bullying incident in class, a friend of Jimmy's angrily yells at the other students, and she is sent to the principal's office. Later Jimmy is called to the principal's office. He tells the principal that the bullying has been going on for a long time and that his friend shouldn't get in trouble because she was defending him. [The principal] "agreed and said the whole thing was no big deal, but if the kids start harassing me again to let him know." (p. 121)
• Do I take the time to help all students, or do I stop short because it may take too much time or energy?

• "What Nate [the bully] says hurts but sometimes it's what people don't say that lasts longer." (p. 126)
• Have I said something, or have I stood back and hoped this too shall pass?

• Jimmy's stomach growled during science class, and the students laughed. "Mr. M [the teacher] looked at me and asked if I had a sick cat stuffed up my shirt." (p. 129)
• Do I use my words to build students up or tear them down?

We have a choice in our actions. This year, I choose to model the courage to stand against teasing, put-downs, and bullying. The time to teach is now.

Literacy and Bullying

Teaching children to be respectful and caring citizens is one of my passions. Character education is not just part of the curriculum in my classroom, rather it is the curriculum. I strive to build a classroom community where students are aware that they are part of something bigger than themselves. These are the ideas that led me to my original blogging platform. My goal is to tie in my love of literacy to the need to grow responsible and compassionate future citizens.

In New Jersey, bullying has been in the spotlight as the new Harrassment, Intimidation, and Bullying (HIB) mandates and policies need to be in place by September. (Overview of NJ's HIB Requirements) Although this brings the issue of bullying to the attention of the public, I believe there is much more that needs to be addressed in the classroom. Literacy can be a starting point for discussions about bullying.

During the next few weeks, I will be exploring books that can be used in the classroom to teach about bullying. Some will be familiar, but hopefully, there will be some new ideas and books to spark your thinking and discussions with your students.

Next Up: The Fat Boy Chronicles by Diane Lang and Michael Buchanan