Can Empathy Be Taught?

I don't believe that empathy can be taught. I can't make you feel a certain way. As a parent, how many times have I tried to tell my children that they should be proud of themselves or that they should feel sorry for something they've done? Too many times to count and the results weren't usually what I hoped for them to be. It took me a long time to learn this. What can teachers and parents do to help children develop a sense of empathy if it's not possible to teach it? Exposing children to experiences that are different from their usual reality is a first step. By exposing them to literature that has characters, themes, or settings that are new to them helps children to imagine what it would be like to live in the book. Note that I wrote "imagine". We can expose children to situations, but we cannot teach them how to feel. Discussions will develop as students ponder the differences. Literature can also be used to put students into situations that they've experienced but have been uncomfortable speaking about. This is important as we teach students to recognize and begin to look for solutions to bullying, teasing, and put-downs. As NJ begins implementing its new Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying (HIB) policy, I worry that schools will focus on teaching emapthy and respect in an attempt to cover themselves legally, yet teaching is not the answer. The answer lies in building a classroom and school community where children feel loved and important. This cannot be taught. This has to be felt. As we begin the new school year, let's remember to find the good in all children. Let them know that you care about them and that each one is important. And provide them with new experiences through literature.